Doing battle with daily dragons

Saturday, March 12, 2005

How to Tell Time

I experienced lust this morning in the high street.

A few months back, we were visiting some friends when I saw something on their wall that I literally wanted to rip down and run away with. It was a clock, with little multi-colored pills at the number stations. This doesn’t sound particularly interesting, but in my tiny little magpie mind, it was SHINY. And, as I bitterly accepted that theft might endanger our friendship, I vowed to discover the source of my obsession.

Today, while hurrying up the high street to begin a day of toil in Purgatory…there it was. SHINY SHINY SHINY! RIGHT IN THAT WINDOW! RIGHT THERE! THE SHINY THING CAN BE MINE, PRECIOUS, ALL MINE!

Reason did not enter into it. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why I’ve got such a hard-on for this clock in the first place other than SHINY that it SHINY really caught my fancy. So, at lunchtime, I left my compatriot in charge of the shop while I went to satisfy my craving for the treasured timepiece.

Upon closer inspection of the window display that featured my lovely clock was a surprise. ANOTHER clock, more shiny and delectable than the first! Lovely, juicy, happy colors in a swirl that might potentially be bad for the eyes, but I cared not for trivial optical concerns. The shiny must be mine.

And now that it is, I have to ask…where on earth did I think I was going to put a clock?