Doing battle with daily dragons

Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Bump Strikes Back

Just a quick Bump update. These kind of things are almost too embarassing to relate. Almost. I only do it because sometimes it hard for me to tell the difference between people laughing with me or at me.

I have a fat lip. I'm sure that people probably think The Rock Star beats me. Like when I fell against the edge of the bathroom cabinet and ended up with a bruise as big as New Hampshire on my ass: I went to the gym and noticed some concerned glances being thrown my way. "That poor thing," I knew they were thinking, "I can't imagine WHY women stay with men like that." I wish I could have stood up on one of the changing benches and set the record straight (after putting my pants on) so that everyone would know that I'm just a complete spanner that hasn't learned to walk properly yet. They probably wouldn't believe me anyway. "Yes, dear," they'd say, "Of COURSE you fell down the stairs." NO! I REALLY DID FALL DOWN THE STAIRS! I'M A TOTAL GIMP!

At any rate, while walking through the supermarket, with my arms full of groceries, (why a basket didn't occur to me, I don't know) I picked up a gallon jug of squash. Trying to rebalance, I lightly tossed the bottle in the air to get a better grip on the handle and ended up hitting myself in the mouth really rather hard. I was so embarassed, I didn't even say "Ow." when my lip exploded. I met The Rock Star by the till. "What happened to you?" was his incredulous greeting.

Soft drinks can be dangerous. Handle with care.