Doing battle with daily dragons

Monday, April 25, 2005

Saving Ourselves

While perusing the charmingly named blog, “Fuck Everything” I came across a link to a site that everyone who’s tired of this pedantic “silver ring thing” should have a look at. Seriously. Have a look. But wait until your boss is on the other side of the room, because the photo demonstrations, especially the one with the hot dog, are probably enough to get you fired. Those of you who work from the comfort of your own living room, open away and have a good guffaw.

I’ve got nothing against pledges of assistance, especially when it comes to young teenagers, but I DEFINITELY object to using Jesus as a poster boy and setting up a small merchandising empire around the concept.

At least two things you might not know about the Abstinence movement:

--On the “Silver Ring Thing”site, I was particularly interested in the bit in the Q&A section covering “Second Virginity.”

"We address this question in the Second Virginity message which speaks directly to the issues and problems that sexually active students have encountered. We recognize the fact that many students who attend the SRT are, or have been, sexually active and they need to know if it is possible to begin again. The answer is YES YOU CAN START OVER and, in fact, for this reason many students attend our program. "

It’s some wicked powerful mojo that can enact a spontaneous revirginization. “Sure kid, give me 15 bucks for this silver piece of crap and you can have your cherry back.”

True Love Waits. And waits. And waits.

--"Until you are married, sexual purity means saying no to sexual intercourse, oral sex, and even sexual touching. It means saying no to a physical relationship that causes you to be "turned on" sexually. It means not looking at pornography or pictures that feed sexual thoughts. "

And in our webstore, we have a wide variety of flagellum and spiked chastity belts. And you know this means deleting that web bookmark to the Victoria’s Secret catalogue, don’t you, you cheeky little wanker?