Doing battle with daily dragons

Sunday, September 04, 2005

High Times

Sundays are good days for adventures.

While sitting in the beer garden of a lovely local village pub, The Hairy One suddenly perks up from the bottom of his lager.

"Oh my god, we should go to the Field of Joy."

Fearing some masturbatory slacker slang, The Rock Star and I look at eachother with a certain amount of trepidation, however the rest of our party seemed keen on the idea as well, having already been aquainted with said piece of acreage.

"Erm, what?" ventured the Rock Star.

"It's the biggest field of weed you've ever seen in your life," replied Captain Hairy, with his trademark dirty smile.

The Hairy One pulled out his phone and proceeded to search through his photos to show us visual proof that nearby, there were in fact at least 3 football fields full of hemp. Having been convinced that that was a sight that we needed to see, we all piled in cars various (our slacker type friends in their mismatched, misfiring 70's era Beetles and us into our rather more comfortable, quiet and grown up Seat Altea) to go in search of this veritable field of dreams.

It is, of course, not of the smoking variety. A field of pot the size of Central London in rural Buckinghamshire would likely be noticed by the authorities sooner rather than later and by the local burnboys even sooner than that. The field in question is a field of male plants used in manufacturing of twine, fabric and other goods that people often buy at canal and rock festivals to show how subversive they are by purchasing goods "that are made out of weed, man."

The fields themselves were vast, looking rather more like they belonged in a jungle in Cuba rather than in the sedate English countryside. The Hairy One stared wistfully over the tops of the plants, speculating on the existance of a private stash of female plants in the centre of the crop. We dragged him away eventually. We love Captain Hairy, but being that he often is unable to find his ass with both hands tied behind his back, we were doubtful of his ability to distinguish the difference between two virtually identical plants.

The joys of country living.