Doing battle with daily dragons

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Truth & Lies

This is an old meme, but I seem to be having a bit of a slow day today.

10 Truths, 5 Lies

1. I was once threatened with arrest for soliciting.

2. I have punched someone in the face

3. I once shaved my head.

4. I am orally fixated.

5. I have kissed a girl.

6. I have an irrational fear of ladybugs.

7. I was once injured in a major bar fight.

8. I once skipped work to get drunk.

9. I have played naked soccer.

10. I have a secret passion for country western music, Keith Urban in particular.

11. I sleep with a teddy bear.

12. I have exposed myself in front of a theatre full of people.

13. I was once shouted at in the airport by a member of Elton John’s entourage.

14. I have accused a member of the clergy of witchcraft.

15. I have 6 individual pieces of body art.

And now for the Truth and the Lies.

1. True- When I was 15, I was waiting for my father outside a Laundromat next to a payphone in the middle of downtown Frederick. A cop came by and told me he “didn’t like my kind” on his beat and I’d better move along if I didn’t want to go to the station. I was completely bewildered until it dawned on me that he believed I was a prostitute.

2. True- You know that kid at your school who you feel sorry for but his social skills are so appalling that you can’t help but hate him at the same time? He caught me at a bad moment.

3. False- I experimented briefly with clippers, but never had the guts to go all the way.

4. True- I have a pen cap in my mouth as we speak.

5. True- I recon there are very few women who get out of university without having snogged another woman. It’s totally just like kissing a guy, only with less stubble.

6. False- Very few flying things bother me, save for wasps, who can die in torment.

7. True-It’s not often that real, wild west style brawls break out in bars, but I got in the middle of one (which had nothing to do with me, I assure you.) and ended up with legs so badly bruised, I was on crutches for a couple of days.

8. True- Although I didn’t really plan it that way. It was too hot to work, so I called in sick and drink gin and lemonade all day with my housemate.

9. True- It was pretty dark. I think the goalie came off worst; one of the girls playing kicked a ball at the male goalkeeper, we all heard a loud smack and then saw him crumple like a piece of paper.

10. False- Keith Urban may be an attractive man, but even a pretty face can’t make me like country music.

11. True- Einstein is his name. I’ve had him since I was 10. Luckily, The Rock Star likes him too.

12. True- I was playing a pantomime villainess and had to carry the “unconscious” ingénue off stage over my shoulder. Sadly for me, one of my boobs escaped in front of a packed house at the Bristol Opera House in Indiana eliciting the sort of response you’d expect from a small town crowd in the Midwest.

13. False- “You filthy little pig! Make way for His Royal Campness before you feel my boot!”

14. True- I’m 2 years old and sitting in a supermarket trolley when some nuns walk down the aisle. “Look, Daddy, witches!” I shout gleefully. My father moves further away from me.

15. False- I only have 3.