Doing battle with daily dragons

Monday, October 24, 2005


Further proof that time is cruel.

I come from a family where wearing glasses is an inevitability. My mother was bespectacled before she was a teenager, my father needed them from about 40 and just about every other member of my extended tribe finds it necessary to stick some piece of prescription material directly on or in front of their eyeballs in order not to bump into things.

At the moment, I can convince myself that I only need them to work at the computer. Nothing else seems to be fuzzy save for these little pixelated meanderings on my screen. I don’t accidentally find myself talking to tall potted plants a-la Mr. Magoo, so I’ll just have to suck it up, do my best Ms. Moneypenny impression and hope it’s not too bad a look.

I’ll admit to this now as it’s been probably 10 years since I did this, but I actually used to be enough of an image spanner to wear frames with plain glass lenses because I thought they made me look “WAY more mature!” (Back in the day when I actually had to worry about looking more mature. Mostly to buy beer. I can’t tell you the last time I got carded. I also can’t tell you how depressing that is.) People used to try them on and go, “Wow, light prescription” and I’d go, “Yeah” because I knew that I was an optical fraud.

I’ve actually owned about 3 pairs of genuine glasses before now, but I’m fairly convinced that I was sold them on false pretences. The Rock Star pointed out that it seemed like a genuine conflict of interest for the places that sell you these vastly inflated snippets of wire and glass to also be the ones that carry out exams to tell you if you actually NEED them. Hmmmmm.

So, at any rate, I joined the four eyes brigade today. I’ve already almost scratched them, stepped on them and lost them on the top of my head.

Looking forward for the adjustment period to be over.