Doing battle with daily dragons

Thursday, November 03, 2005

M*A*S*H

So I’m doing something new this evening. Variety is the spice of stuff, etc. I’m making mashed potatoes.

I grew up with a real aversion to the buggers. In fact, just about everything I dislike to this day I dislike for the same reason I couldn’t hack mashed potatoes; consistency. While I am not prepared to field any lewdness regarding my incredibly sensitive gag reflex, I will admit that there are some comestibles that can’t make it past passport control in my throat. Excess grit or squishiness seems to be the criteria that my oesophagus uses when assessing “credible threat”. Oatmeal, yoghurt, sprouts, kidney, all of these things are the asylum seekers hovering on the border, trying to get past customs hidden in something else like bread or meat. But my throat is rarely fooled.

The mashed potatoes that I grew up with were sometimes powdered, combining both gritty AND squishy and therefore were not even let past the teeth. My parents are both tremendous cooks, but they were also teachers and spent all day waging war with 9-13 year olds and didn’t so much feel like going through the whole Julia Child bit upon returning home. On the occasions that we DID have real mash, I was thoroughly uninterested.

When I moved here, I was introduced to bangers and real mash, which is truly gorgeous, combined with enough milk and butter. So tonight, I’m going to attempt it on my own armed with nothing but enthusiasm and one of those things you use to beat potatoes senseless with.

Come dinnertime, we’ll see whether their papers are all in order.