Doing battle with daily dragons

Monday, December 12, 2005

Baking Disasters Explained

Those of you who know this book know that it is the basis for many love handles and heart attacks. You will ALSO know that it is NOT TO BE QUESTIONED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Many fist fights between old ladies have started when questions as to the quality of the recipes contained herein have arisen. I, however, to the disgrace of all of my Pennsylvania Dutch ancestors, HAVE A BLOODY QUESTION.

Not that I wish to impune the advice of Mrs. Ernest C Detwiler and her fellow culinary artists. It is, in fact, with the editors of the 1992 spiral edition of The Mennonite Cookbook that I would like to have a word with about ruining my good name in the Shoo Fly Pie Baking department.

Just FYI editors...THERE IS NO FLIPPING EGG. I DON'T KNOW WHO THREW IN THE EGG BETWEEN 1950-SOMETHING AND 1992, BUT THERE IS MOST DEFINITELY NO EGG IN SHOOFLY PIE. AND THERE IS 1/4 CUP OF SHORTENING, NOT TWO TABLESPOONS. WITHOUT THE SHORTENING, I'VE PRETTY MUCH BEEN BAKING A MIXTURE OF FLOUR + MOLASSES WHICH = GLUE. THIS RECIPE ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY DOES NOT WORK. YOU CRETINS.

This would certainly acount for the less than cake-like appearance of my last two attempts in this field of baking.

Think of me this evening as I bake my triumphal pie.